DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE
Requires Adobe Reader download here if needed adobe.com
I have long believed that one of the most important things we can all learn in our lives is how to get along with even the most difficult personalities we encounter. Goodness knows I have encountered many in my more than 40-years of work.
As a behavioral psychologist, I have observed for more than 40 years how economic and social conditions affect human behavior, especially in the business and government worlds. People often project and express their outrage and emotions on other people when they are stressed. It is hard to admit, but we have all taken out our frustrations, at one time or another, on someone who was not really the cause of our frustration.
It makes no difference what the level of stress, tension, aggression or emotional concern there is in a meeting or a relationship, there is one common chemical element in each of our brains that provides the need for us to “fight” or “run” from the situation, if it is too intense. Yes, this is “classic” fight or flight routine we all are familiar with in ourselves.
There are two basic behavioral concepts associated with angry and aggressive people. Dr. John Byrnes with the Center for Aggression Management refers to them as primal and cognitive aggressors.
For the sake of clarity, primal aggressors “get mad”, grow red in the face, seethe with anger and emotion and erupt. Cognitive aggressors “set out to get even or do harm”, with analytical, thoughtful and focused aggression. Both types of aggressors can be dangerous and both types can literally escalate into violent behavior.
You can now download and save this on your own computer.
